Your Thanksgiving Decorations are Ugly

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Kazh:"Give thanks, it's almost out of you now"



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Kazh: ...Why is there a penis coming out of its knee?
Sean:I need to go into the useless crap business.
Kazh: "Why give your kids something they'll just throw away? This year, give them a lifetime of nightmares!"
Nicole: The furries need to celebrate the founding of our country in some way, as well.
Kazh: Yiffing isn't enough?



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Kristin: I like how the description touts "High definition image"
Nicole: Like it matters when you get up in the middle of the night to pee.
Sean: It is unfortunately shatterproof
Nicole: Not if I bump into it because their "high definition image" isn't letting through enough light.
Sean: it's also kind of funny to me that we celebrate the wholesale slaughter of a certain species by setting up pictures of them when they were alive



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Kristin: So basically, you put this one once a year? Or do you leave it up all year?
Nicole: If your guests are paying attention to your lightswitch plate covers, then you're doing something wrong.
Sean: or something really, really right
Kazh: "I want to put up Thanksgiving decorations, but all I have is 5 bucks"
Sean: "I want my friends and family to be aware that I know it's thanksgiving, and not much more"
Kazh: I bet you have to be constantly looking for excuses to have the lights turned on and off, just to call attention to it.
Kazh: "Oh dear, I dropped my... glowstick. Hit the lights, sweetheart".


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Nicole: Let's commemorate the day by reminding ourselves of the pumpkins still out on the porch from Halloween
Kristin: It's time to throw that one out. It's moldy.
Kazh: I bet they look less rancid than that thing, eww.
Sean: All the glamour of a wart.
Sean: Or poop.
Kazh: That artist is too unappreciated. He pored over textbooks for MONTHS trying to get the mold to look JUST right.


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Nicole: It's the perfect transition between holidays.
Kazh: He's blushing. Even he knows how awful he looks.
Kristin: He is so angry.
Kazh: $230??? Does he, like, go and get the nuts for you?
Sean: It looks like he's angrily dumping the contents of his barrow
Kazh: It's full of moldy ceramic pumpkins


Nicole: I'm warning you guys about the next one.
Nicole: Because you might not be able to tell what it is.
Nicole: So let me give you a hint.
Nicole: It's a flag.


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Sean: wow.
Sean: it's an indoor flag, too
Kazh: Celebrate with LOW QUALITY Windows 95 style clipart!
Kristin: Do you think it comes on the paper that has the perforated edges with the holes
Nicole: Oh I sure hope so, I miss dot matrix printer noise.
Kazh: it's 3'x5'? Srsly? Do you really need to proclaim your bad taste that... largely?
Kazh: I'd be embarrassed to be using a postage stamp that looked like that
Nicole: maybe it's a way to get your unwanted family members to leave before dessert.
Sean:it's 3' x 5' for indoor use only
Kristin: That's bigger than me!!!
Kazh: Wow, you're shorter than 3'?
Kazh: Filthy Hobbitses!
Sean: You'll have to use it as a carpet
Nicole: And then you can shut off the light using your Thanksgiving switchplate.
Kazh: Maybe they need to mention some alternative uses
Kazh: I mean, it's bigger than Kabbage, right? "Can be used to wrap a body, without wasting a nice tarp"
Sean: transmission leak? no problem!
Kazh: "Large enough to hang yourself with when NO ONE comes over for Thanksgiving!"
Sean:dog sick? we have you covered just in time for thanksgiving.


Nicole: Speaking of dog sick.





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Kazh: Sure, they LOOK cute, but do you know how many wiener dog Indians they've killed?
Kristin: Why is there a jack o'lantern?
Kristin: You can leave it up for 2 months!


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Kazh: Hey, gay guys can celebrate Thanksgiving too.
Kristin: Santa? Is that you?
Nicole: Santa's a bit early.
Kazh: They can give thanks for continued equal- ... well their right to mar- ... Zack Efron?
Kazh: It's not Santa, it's Santa's brother that the family doesn't like to talk about. The one that moved to San Fran with his "roommate" Juan.
Kazh: IT IS GAY have I made that clear enough yet?
Sean: Wait.
Sean: The fairy is gay?
Kazh: *facepalm*


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Sean: Finally, an edible wreath!
Kazh: I love how the product name, the product description, and the manufacturer, are all one word.
Kazh: Nutwreath.
Kazh: Need we say more?
Kristin: That is sure to be devoured by squirrels.
Sean: The pine one I used to have kept my breath fresh, but it was also poisonous.
Kazh: Not to be confused with OTHER nutwreaths, which are significantly smaller, and hang from your belt loop.


Nicole: Okay, this one's also tough.
Nicole: So I'll give you another hint.
Nicole: Hint: It's a poster.


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Kazh: That's the poster John Goodman used to have hanging over his bed when he was a teenager.
Kazh: Farrah WHO?
Kristin: "This is what Thanksgiving dinner is *supposed* to look like. Sorry for the slop I'm feeding you."
Nicole: "No, you're just supposed to lick the poster. That is dinner.
Kristin: OMG
Kristin: Is it scratch and sniff?
Nicole: Yeah, if you like paper.

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Kristin: So we've done
Kristin: Halloween-Thanksgiving
Kristin: Christmas-Thanksgiving
Kristin: Now Easter-Tanksgiving
Kristin: It has Easter colors and looks like an egg!
Kristin: How about we just leave our Thanksgiving decorations up all year!
Sean: We need St. Patrick's day.
Sean: Drunken turkey.
Kazh: I think anthropomorphizing turkeys makes it a little harder for me to devour their flesh, please don't rub it in my face
Kazh: Mexican turkeys for Cinco de Mayo!
Kazh: Senor Gobbles!
Sean: Frosted turkey for anyone's birthday
Kristin: How about some turkey with sparklers sticking out of it for 4th of July.

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Nicole: sparklers, you said?
Kristin: OH see, it does exist.
Kazh: Selling your kid's school crafts projects online is just mean.
Sean: Wow, that thing's not just ugly, it actually looks highly flammable.
Kazh: That is part of its charm. You have it to ooh and aah over while you eat, then you light it up when you want everyone to leave
Nicole: It's like what they'd put on the table at an elementary school "thanksgiving party"
Nicole: Where the kids dress up as pilgrims and indians with vests made out of brown paper bags.
Sean: no, no "harvest celebration"
Kristin: Hand turkeys!
Sean: I want to make a hand turkey
Kazh: I have some construction paper!

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Kristin: Turk-goosen? What?
Kazh:A goose dressing as a Turkey around Thanksgiving time seems like the worst survival instinct ever.
Sean: Well, they're not the brightest
Kazh:Maybe he's, like, the Judas turkey
Kazh: That leads the rest to the slaughter
Kazh: But he's a GOOSE!
Kazh: Devious!



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Kazh:"Perfect for any Fall or Thanksgiving tree!" Who has a Thanksgiving tree? Do they sell those? A FALL tree? SRSLY?
Sean: lol thanksgiving tree
Nicole: I dunno about you, but I love the crisp, colored leaves all over my carpet


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Nicole: They're trapped! Someone get them out of there!
Kazh: Some sick freak locked them up and makes they bake Thanksgiving food for their amusement.
Kristin: This Thanksgiving, I am thankful that I am not imprisoned in a giant pumpkin.
Sean: a giant METAL pumpkin
Sean: I think a regular pumpkin would be ok.
Sean: till you got tired of eating the walls
Nicole: Well, what if they were allergic to pumpkin?
Sean: They probably wouldn't last long.
Sean: They would see a moist, smelly end